The smartest brains, like the laziest hibernating bears, tend to be the hungriest. Feed the brain that feeds you with this Groupon.

$99 for a Certified Online Training Course in the Microsoft Office Suite ($1,157 Value)

The online e-Careers portal provides 24/7 access to more than 500 hours of online training through 38 individual course modules in Microsoft PowerPoint, Word, Outlook, Excel, Access, and Lotus Notes. Microsoft Windows is covered in various forms, including XP, Vista, and Windows 7. Beginners and advanced students hone workplace skills, take part in assessments, and can print proof of completion certificates to prove technological prowess. Courses are customizable and include professional guidance 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

e-Careers

Helping students flesh out their resumés and advance their careers with continuing education, e-Careers is available online, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The company hosts study programs that detail children’s education, web design, and most foreign languages, excluding the language of robot love. To simulate the traditional classroom experience as much as possible, each course comes to life with animated content, video and audio training, and virtual laboratories, all without any required software. Likewise, communicative features such as live tutor support via chat and discussion boards allow participants to collaborate and converse, eliminating the need to send tweets when the teacher’s back is turned.

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Online streaming provides immediate access to your favorite films, making it easy to reference which color wire to cut in a nuclear bomb. Study up for cinematic situations with this Groupon.

Choose from Three Options

• $10 for $25 worth of independent films for streaming, downloading, or on DVD
• $19 for $55 worth of independent films for streaming, downloading, or on DVD
• $49 for $150 worth of independent films for streaming, downloading, or on DVD

IndiePix Unlimited

IndiePix Unlimited grants online access to hundreds of top independent films that would normally be difficult to find or unavailable on similar websites. The collection spans nearly 20 genres—including international, comedy, thriller, and documentary—and also includes a selection of shorts, films less than 30 minutes long. For newcomers to the world of independent film, IndiePix's experts highlight their favorites, such as Calvin Theobald's King of Chinatown and Nick Whitfield's Skeletons. Monthly subscribers gain unlimited access to a digital collection of award-winning movies, many of which have been featured at the Venice, Cannes, Tribeca, and Sundance film festivals. Viewers can have DVDs sent to their homes or use IndiePix's digital streaming platform to watch movies on a television, Flash-enabled device, or recently hacked jumbotrons.

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Houseplants grow stronger by soaking up sunlight and watching supposedly more intelligent birds fly into sparkling-clean windows. Get a clearer view with this Groupon.

Choose from Three Options

• $39 for an interior or exterior window cleaning for up to 10 windows on one story (a $100 value)
• $69 for an interior or exterior window cleaning for up to 20 windows (a $200 value)
• $89 for an interior or exterior window cleaning for up to 30 windows (a $300 value)

Keep It Clean Carpet, Tile and Upholstery Care

Before completing any eco-friendly cleaning service, the professional scrubbers at Keep It Clean Carpet, Tile and Upholstery Care analyze the job to be done and make sure customers know what results to expect. The highly trained technicians use truck-mounted HydraMasters and portable CFR Pro 400 equipment to lather up stained carpets and purge sullied upholstery. They extract embedded dirt from tile and grout lines with a powerful combination of cleaning solutions, steam, and peer pressure. When they aren't scouring interiors, Keep It Clean's specialists purge gutters, polish windows, and sweep chimneys.

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Oceans are the earth's final frontier, holding thousands of uncategorized species of fish and one plastic bag filled with loose doll hairs. Snorkel amidst the mysteries of the deep with this Groupon.

Choose from Four Options

• $9 for a one-day ticket for one (a $20 value)
• $17 for a two-day ticket for one (a $40 value)
• $17 for one-day tickets for two (a $40 value)
• $30 for two-day tickets for two (an $80 value)

Dive & Travel Expo 2012 will be held at the Greater Tacoma Convention and Trade Center from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Saturday, April 21, and from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Sunday, April 22.

Dive & Travel Expo 2012

The annual Dive & Travel Expo is set to enter its fifth year of connecting scuba and snorkel enthusiasts with some of the industry's top experts, brands, and innovations. More than 50 seminars scheduled throughout the weekend will showcase the diving deftness of speakers from across the country, enabling attendees to net information on such topics as underwater photography, first aid, and eluding common pitfalls. During face-to-face conversations or snorkel sword fights with resort representatives, expo-goers can get travel tips or plan dive vacations around the globe.

Approximately 300 exhibit booths will also be in attendance, providing information, equipment, and accessories from both upstart businesses and industry standards, including Whites and Oceanic. An upgraded kids' section, designed for children aged 3–9, keeps pint-size fin flappers from practicing their forward-roll entries in water fountains with a lineup of interactive attractions.

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Ever since humans evolved necks, they have craned them to look at the stars, making astronomy the oldest profession and chiropractic the second oldest. Align yourself for continued constellation-scoping with today's Groupon: for $37, you get a one-hour massage, consultation, and full chiropractic spinal check-up at a Puget Sound chiropractor (up to a $395 value). Choose from 16 locations.

Puget Sound's licensed chiropractors straighten meandering muscles and determine the source of bodily complaints with in-depth examinations. The initial consultation tracks down pain culprits before an optional set of up to four x-rays provides proof of their last known whereabouts. Clients can return for a follow-up exam and to address any lingering concerns. During a one-hour massage, a skilled massage therapist relaxes bodies tense from standing in for bowling pins, untangling minor aches and pains through therapeutic Swedish or deep-tissue strokes.

Though the Puget Sound chiropractors sometimes offer a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.

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Work should feel like a party! Jump-start a fun new career with one of today's deals from ABC Bartending School: $50 buys you a four-hour mixology course, a $119 value, or $199 buys you a 32-hour bartending certification course, a $499 value! ABC Bartending School offers hands-on instruction in a fully operational facility. Experienced, knowledgeable instructors teach a variety of important bartending techniques and offer guidance on job searches and interviewing. Opt for the four-hour mixology class and learn the principles of mixing drinks, as well as more than 100 cocktail recipes. Or go for the 32-hour course, where you'll master everything you need to know to become a working bartender. Subjects include equipment, setup, mixology, liquors, garnishes, wine, beer, customer service, alcohol awareness, flair, and cash register procedures. Pour yourself into an exciting new career with one of today's deals from ABC Bartending School. - choose one of these 2 options: 4-Hour Mixology Class or 32-Hour Bartending Certification Course.

$30 to Spend on Food and Drink

Utterly useless outside the realm of competitive raccoon tickling, the human thumb would have no conceivable function were it not required to guide a bowling ball to its target. Treat it to a little rabies-free fun with this Groupon.

Choose from Two Options

• $5 for two games of bowling and shoe rental for one, valid at Brunswick Zone Bowling Centers (up to a $13.77 value)
• $15 for one hour of bowling and shoe rental for up to four, valid at Brunswick Zone Bowling Centers (up to a $40.15 value)

Brunswick Zone offers its own deals at certain times of the week that may have values competitive with this deal.

Brunswick Zone

Brunswick has been a trusted name in recreational pin pulverizing for more than a century, providing good times to patrons across the country. Friends and families season afternoons with a pleasant peppering of strikes, spares, and easygoing gutter balls under classic bowling conditions, or take the next bold step in ball-hurling evolution and engage in a round of cosmic bowling, where dancing lights, thumping tunes, and black-lit gear light up the full sensorium. At XL locations, game rooms beckon with nimble joystick workouts on classic and modern arcade games.

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Burning calories without working out seems impossible to people who have never had an infrared body wrap or set fire to a warehouse full of bundt cakes. Heat things up with today's Groupon to Desert Sun Tanning Salons, redeemable at two Federal Way locations on Hoyt Road SW and Pacific Highway South. Choose from the following options:

• For $29, you get three sunless spray tans, plus unlimited access to tanning beds for one week (an $81 value).
• For $29, you get one 50-minute FormoStar body wrap (a $100 value).
• For $69, you get three 50-minute FormoStar body wraps (a $210 value).

Desert Sun Tanning Salons' FormoStar body wraps radiate infrared heat onto the limbs and torso to boost metabolism and accelerate the burning of fat. During the 50-minute treatment, clients can adjust the body wrap's temperature to suit their levels of heat tolerance and pyromania. The heat from the wrap helps alleviate muscle pain, promotes calorie burning without muscle or lung fatigue, and stimulates the lymphatic system. The sweating that the treatment induces in users is also thought to exfoliate away dead skin cells.

Backed by a 100% satisfaction guarantee, Desert Sun’s UV-free spray tans come courtesy of Mystic Tan and VersaSpa, and may last for up to three to seven days, which is approximately how long it takes to build a sandcastle with walls impervious to errant stompers. Those looking for an all-natural glow can sink into 10- and 20-minute tanning beds outfitted with air conditioning, aromatherapy, and soothing tunes.

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The Groupon Guide to: Winning Racehorse Names

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Though rubber-banding a photograph to a roly-poly super ball increases its utility, its picture quality plummets after playing just a few rounds of fetch. Put a photo in a durable place with this Groupon for one gallery-wrapped canvas from Canvas on Demand. Shipping and handling are included with the cost of this Groupon. Choose from the following options:

• For $45, you get a 16"x20"x1.5" gallery-wrapped canvas (a $126.95 value).
• For $52, you get a 20”x24”x1.5” gallery-wrapped canvas (a $149.95 value).
• For $75, you get a 24”x36”x1.5” gallery-wrapped canvas (a $202.95 value).

A wrapped canvas is a professional photorealistic reproduction printed on textured artist canvas and gallery wrapped around a sturdy 1.5-inch edge. Upload your desired image and pass it off to Canvas on Demand's image touch-up experts. They'll make complimentary fixes, such as improving sharpness, balancing and enhancing the color, fine-tuning contrast, and removing suspiciously red eyes, before reproducing your image on a 16"x20", 20”x24”, or 24”x36” canvas. Customers can also opt to mail in traditional prints; Canvas on Demand's image magicians will make a high-resolution scan and return originals by mail—unless they're baby photos, which are returned via stork.

With a wrap-around canvas, your new art will have a colorful edge, and it won't need a frame. In one to three weeks from receipt of your initial submission, you'll have your gallery-canvas print in hand, ready to hang with pride above any lonely fireplace in need of a nonimaginary friend.

Customers living in California, North Carolina, Nevada, Kentucky, and Washington will pay an additional fee for sales tax.

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Sailors learn to be experts at knot tying, from securing the vessel with a tight anchor hitch to securing the captain after he succumbs to madness and tries to eat his own hook hand. This Groupon is a mutinous bounty.

$49 for a Whale-Watching Boat Tour ($99 Value)

Whale watchers climb aboard a 56-foot boat and embark on an approximately 3.5-hour journey into the habitats of killer whales. As USCG-licensed captain Daniel Wilk pilots the vessel, a trained naturalist shares info on the whales and the area's wildlife, which may include harbor seals and bald eagles cawing off-key renditions of the national anthem.

Orcas Island Eclipse Charters

When the producers of Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home were casting for the roles of coastal marine patrollers, they didn't look to the scores of hopeful actors in Hollywood, opting instead to find boating professionals with real experience. Their search led them to Orcas Island Eclipse Charters founders Dan and Denise Wilk, whose extensive knowledge of aquatic wildlife made them a serendipitous choice for sharing the camera with Hollywood's most famous orca.

Aboard their 56-foot vessel, Dan and Denise continue to share the passion that led them to the big screen in the first place. Their enthusiasm shines through to passengers while they guide tours into the habitats of killer whales and harbor seals. Occasionally, expert guides direct passengers to look up from the water to spot deer on nearby land or bald eagles soaring through the sky above. When asked how they happen upon so many natural specimens on their trips, Dan and Denise would tell you they don't leave their tours up to chance, coordinating excursions with a whale-watching service that pinpoints where the underwater mammals are feeding.

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The Groupon Guide to: Winning Racehorse Names

Will naming a racehorse The Best Horse help it win every time?

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Your grandmother and America's top chefs agree on one thing—the best source for great cuts of meat is from a skilled butcher who knows the product. Today's deal provides you with access to expert meat men and women at Fischer Meats! The oldest business in Issaquah, Fischer Meats relies on years of experience and relationships with local meat and seafood producers to bring its customers the finest goods. Their meats are all natural, Washington grown, and minimally processed, resulting in a product with superior taste and tenderness. Whether you want fresh sausage, leg of lamb, great steaks, delicious seafood, or whole chickens, you can find the finest offerings at a great price at Fischer Meats. Your grandmother would be proud.

Four Burlesque Classes

Couples' Acrobalance with Trapeze Lesson Including Registration

Two Tickets to Any Film Festival Screening