Today's side deal gives you a chance to test out your sea legs and their ability to quickly morph into high-speed land legs at the Islander Aquathon, presented by Dilettante Chocolates and BTO Multisports. Held in Luther Burbank Park on Mercer Island on Wednesday, September 1, at 6:30 p.m., the Islander Aquathon is a new, bikeless multisport competition that features competitive swimming and running. Choose from one of two registration options:

• $17 to register for the short course—500-meter swim/5K run ($35 value)
• $25 to register for the long course—1,000-meter swim/8K run ($50 value)

Both running courses will remain near the lush bounds of Luther Burbank Park, and depending on your choice of length, you'll start the event by being fish-like through one or two loops of the swim course.

The Islander Aquathon is the first race of its kind in Seattle, but owner, operator, and USA Triathlon–certified race director Porter Bratten has been staging multisport races in New York and California since 2007. The Islander Aquathon is designed to be accessible for first-time racers, multisport vets, and amphibious competitors who've been preparing for this race their whole lives with an arduous regimen of crossing busy highways and crocodile-infested rivers. Grab today's side deal for the chance to test your own limits, unite the notoriously contentious land and water, and speed past sideline spectators at the Islander Aquathon.

Race participants must sign waiver prior to race.

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For $90, today's side deal lets sprouting sportspeople ages 3–10 hone their skills in an instructional eight-week soccer league from i9 Sports in Redmond (a $184 value). This Groupon is only valid for i9 Sports' fall 2010 session, which starts on Saturday, September 11.

For eight exciting weeks this autumn, children will flock to the fields of Marymoor Park to score some new skills and friendships, with all instruction designed and led by Seattle-native and USSF-certified Jacob Haney. In addition to providing a steady stream of professional instruction and individualized attention, i9 Sports works hard to maintain a positive, supportive environment that forbids negative language from both participating children and adult onlookers, and gives each player equal playing time. Over the course of the eight-week league, children will maneuver themselves through a throng of drills and exercises, sharpening both technical and teamwork techniques. Leagues meet for practice once a week on Saturdays, and are organized by age group to keep young ones safe and feeling confident. Call ahead to register your miniature proto-adult for an eight-week league, or enter your Groupon number during online registration.

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A city is a place of tremendous variety, usually constructed upon rock ‘n’ roll. Plumb the secret depths of Seattle with today's Groupon, which offers you a choice of two tours from Gray Line of Seattle:

• $13 for a Hop-On Hop-Off Double-Decker Tour (a $23 value, including tax). This Groupon will give you access to the Hop-On Hop-Off tour for two days. See the sidebar to the right for all eight pick-up/drop-off locations.
• $19 for a 3.5-hour City Sights Tour with an 8:30 a.m. departure (a $38 value, including tax)

The 2010 tour season ends October 31, and the 2011 season begins May 15. Today's deal expires June 30, 2011.

Gray Line's Hop-On Hop-Off Tour buses depart every 30 minutes from eight centrally located stops, making it easy to take in the sights of Seattle at your own pace. Bound along the waterfront. Watch the bus stop for flying-fish crossings at Pike Place Market. Dangle from the ledge of the Space Needle while your silent-movie villain fiancé cackles maniacally. Take to the stage at the opera house and belt out your favorite aria from Final Fantasy VI. Sports fanatics, meanwhile, can exit at Pioneer Square—the home of the Seahawks and the hospice of this season's Mariners. When you finish, simply hop aboard the next bus and you'll be whisked off to the downtown shopping district or Belltown or whatever your next destination is without the hassle of finding a sitter for your car.

To really get under the city's skin without digging elaborate tunnels and angering the city's moleman population, the City Sights Tour ventures beyond the core of downtown, departing at 8:30 a.m. in a single-decker vehicle. Along with stops in the Asia-infused International District and the public-art-congested Fremont, you'll get to merpeople-watch from the underwater viewing room at the Hiram Chittenden Locks. Gray Line's tour guides will also treat you to a taste, smell, and feel of coffee beans as they are transformed from raw beans into roasted morning potion and beyond (depending on how much you sample). Tour groups will also visit one of Seattle's oldest glassblowing studios, where local artisans huff and puff heirloom-quality collectibles into being. Whether you just arrived to the Emerald City or have lived here long enough for your head to evolve a retractable umbrella, a tour from Gray Line will show you a new side to what is widely considered the Seattle of the Pacific Northwest.

Call (206) 626-5200 to reserve your tour seat for the City Sights Tour at least 48 hours in advance.

Groupon Says

Hop On, Hop Off

Don't let my occasional skeleton face fool you. I'm very good at my job.

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Talking about sports, like winning the lotto and undergoing surgery, goes better with a cold beer. Make every hour happy hour with today's Groupon: for $15, you get $30 worth of brews and pub food at Harmon Tap Room, located in downtown Tacoma. This Groupon is not valid during happy hour.

The third location for Harmon Brewing Company, Harmon Tap Room serves beers freshly made in the site's 15 barrels, contenting barley-hungry palates with year-round ales and seasonal brews. Both beer enthusiasts and infrequent drinkers will approve of Harmon's frosty selection of pints ($4.50), featuring the Great American Beer Festival–winning Brown's Point ESB. Hops habitués with something to prove can dive into the Point Defiance IPA, while those who drink beers as light as a cloud of Peeps can stick to the easy-drinking Mt. Takhoma Blonde Ale. Stay to sample hearty pub grub from the Tap House's menu. Pizza cravers may find satisfaction in the veggie-friendly Locally Green pizza ($14), topped with an ambrosial amalgamation of basil pesto, herb potato, caramelized onion, and feta cheese.

With long wooden dining apparatuses, couches for flat-screen TV watching, and slick pool tables, Harmon Tap House is a prime hangout well suited to weary office workers, contented construction men, and door-to-door poltergeist salesmen alike. This deal can also be used toward taking home a Harmon brew in the form of a 64-ounce growler ($10).

Groupon Says

Witches' Brewery

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Utterly useless outside the realm of competitive raccoon tickling, the human thumb would have no conceivable function were it not required to guide a bowling ball to its target. Treat it to a little rabies-free fun with today's deal: for $7, you get two full games and one pair of rental shoes (up to a $14.46 value, including tax) at Brunswick Bowling Center. This Groupon is good at Brunswick Majestic Lanes in Lynnwood. Fridays and Saturdays are the most popular times for bowling-based congregations, so show up early if you come on those nights—or be prepared to wait and engage in a little recreational noshing at the full snack bar.

Bowling is the great social equalizer—a common ground where grizzled undercover clowns, blue-collar English lords, LARPer librarians, big and tall lingerie models, hordes of hive-minded hipsters, and the other two social demographics that comprise America can unite in common cause and topple a gaggle of stuck-up, inanimate wooden pins. Brunswick has been a household name in this egalitarian pastime almost since the beginning, with a company history that dates back to the 19th century, providing classic American good times to all manner of patrons across the country. And with today's Groupon tying the room together, you'll get to play two games (up to a $10 value) in its hallowed halls wearing a pair of freshly disinfected bowling shoes (a $3.79 value).

Unlike other competitive sports, such as dogsled racing and rap battles, bowling has zero barriers to entry and a shallow learning curve. When you're ready to take the next bold step in ball-hurling evolution, engage in a round of cosmic bowling, where dancing lights, thumping tunes, plumes of mist, and glow-in-the-dark bowling accoutrements light up the full sensorium—transforming your bowling ball into a glittering planet hurtling through a vast and unknowable universe before exploding into a supernova of scattered pins. And since you can buy up to 10 of today's deal, you'll be able to spend a good chunk of your day or night at Brunswick taunting your friends and taking out frustrations on a group of hapless pinheads with today's Groupon to Brunswick Bowling.

Groupon Says

Professional Bowlsters

Which pro bowler makes his own balls out of wicker?

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When Tippr heard Bad Monkey Bistro served house made cookies and milk to dunk them in, we were intrigued. Once we stepped inside to discover it's a sports bar and piano bar serving up delicious food, Tippr considered moving our office there. And after eating milk and cookies on the leather sofa by the fireplace, that settled it. Tippr is moving in.

And today, for just $10, lucky Tippsters get $20 in food and drinks at Bad Monkey Bistro.

Their varied menu offers something for everyone. Try the Bourbon Street steak skewers, rock lobster picatta, stuffed calamari, or the mozzarella stuffed crab lollipops with Creole ruby-red grapefruit marmalade. The walls are littered in flat screens, so it's a great place to watch the game. Perhaps the pianist will invent a tune in honor of long-suffering Seattle sports fans. If not, they've got plenty of beer and drinks to comfort them. Of course, there's always milk and cookies, too.

To ensure freshness, arrogant scientists recommend storing nuts in abandoned tree stumps, the jowls of soft-toothed bears, or empty cassette cases. Ignore illegitimate science advice with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $25 worth of nuts, dried fruit, and more from Nutty Guys. Your order can be placed online or by phone and must be redeemed in one transaction. Shipping is not included with this deal.

Nutty Guys sports a massive selection of nuts, dried fruit, candied delights, organic goodies, and more. Legume fundamentalists will raise fists in solidarity at the chance to buy both raw peanuts and raw Spanish peanuts (each starting at $3.33/8 oz.), while nut progressives can try punishingly powerful wasabi peanuts ($3.01/8 oz.). Fuel snack times with mango cubes ($3.75) and apple-juice-sweetened blueberries ($6.38/8 oz.), or sweeten a stash with chocolate-covered pretzels ($3.78/8 oz.), cinnamon-toffee almonds ($4.73/8 oz.), or cinnamon gummy bears ($3.28/8 oz.).

First meeting as roommates at Brigham Young University, the titular Nutty Guys began their ascent to nut domination—supplying major chains such as Smith's and Albertsons—by making door-to-door sales. Today, Nutty Guys pulverizes honey-roasted peanuts ($3.53/8 oz.) into spreadable butters; arranges the classic deluxe mixed nuts ($4.62/8 oz.) with pecans, Brazil nuts, almonds, cashews, and macadamias; and sates cereal enthusiasts with granolas.

Groupon Says

You're Nuts

Please stop, Al Gore.

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Although 94% of the ref’s calls are incorrect, hostilely confronting him at his son's birthday party is illegal. Give sportpinions their proper venue with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $20 worth of high-quality pub fare and drinks at Sport Restaurant & Bar, located in Fisher Plaza across from the Space Needle.

Stocked with nearly 40 TVs, Sport ensures that your multiple eye implants won't miss any ongoing sports action. A 130" HD flat-screen looms above the bar, and each booth has individual 17" LCD HDTVs, bestowing channel-controlling power to any human operating under their own willpower. Chef John Howie's menu features standard pub grub with an upscale twist for tucking into while cheering on. Thick New England clam chowder wrestles tender sea clams, red potatoes, and smoky bacon in a victorious rich, creamy clam broth ($3/cup, $9.50/large bowl), while a mouth-melting fire-grilled Kobe-beef burger is served on a toasted brioche bun with roasted-onion spread ($14). Barbecue-chicken pizza rounds up applewood-smoked chicken and sweet bell peppers, lassoing them together with fontina and mozzarella cheeses ($9–$12.50). Soothe shout-hoarsened throats with a variety of local and imported tap beers, wine, or specialty cocktails.

Huge windows, brick columns, and dark woodwork create a cozy but open bar space, and the museum-quality memorabilia displayed in cases highlights 100 years of Seattle sports as well as sport-based treasures, including a Babe Ruth–signed baseball. Outside, domesticated TVs roam the covered patio, and $1 validated parking is available in the Fisher Plaza garage during weekday lunch hours. Bring along a sports-fan pal or sports-ignorant literature professor and savor your choice of comestibles, potables, and high-fives or confused stares.

Groupon Says

Nothin' but Catchphrases

Boom goes the dynamite? That's gotta hurt.

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Like Shakira, a fluid bat swing harnesses snappy hip movements, looks amazing, and catches the eye of every passerby. Brush up on your swing physics with today’s Groupon: for $15, you get a one-hour rental of either a baseball/softball batting cage or pitching cage (a $40 value) at Northshore Sports Complex in Woodinville.

Northshore Sports Complex is a baseball/softball training complex that provides a clean, well-maintained facility for individuals or teams to practice their fundamentals. In Northshore's specialized training cages, budding long-ballers can square off against a semi-automatic pitching machine whose "crush, kill, destroy" setting has been disabled. Nolan Ryans in training, meanwhile, can develop their fastball's smoky contrail with an L-screen pitching net that includes the option of a portable mound and less-portable surrounding stadium. In addition to an hour of swinging the lumber around or launching the stitched hand grenade into a mesh net, you'll also receive 20% off any additional lessons, which are provided by Northshore Sports' highly experienced instructors, who have training-montaged players throughout Washington.

Whether you have the ability to call your shot like Ruth at Wrigley or just gnawed on a baseball for the first time during this morning's breakfast, a little coaching in the cages of Northshore Sports Complex will advance your game to the next base. Call ahead to reserve your time slot.

Lessons are for new students only.

Groupon Says

Enter the Battling Cage

I don't understand. If two men enter, how come only one man leaves?

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Now that spinach has been deemed a performance-enhancing vegetable, Popeye's future shortstop career hinges on his transition to pan-Asian cuisine. Get a sailor's worth of energizing Oriental eats with today's deal: for $10, you get $20 worth of food and drink at Dragonfish Asian Café's downtown Seattle location.

Dragonfish's extensive dinner menu transports Near Northwest diners to the Far East without the tiresome clicking of ruby-red heels. Preheat your appetite with Lime Rickey shrimp with cashews in a house-made lemongrass-vodka sauce ($8); dreamy tofu pillows with dipping sauces of spicy peanut, sweet-hot mustard, and caramel ginger ($8); or the caramel-ginger chicken, fried chicken sauced in a caramel-ginger concoction with peppers, scallions, and peanuts ($8). Stomachs sashay to the melodies of Dragonfish's sushi; the Dante's Inferno roll takes eating epic poets through nine levels of delicious hell, marked by tempura shrimp, red onion, kaiware, habanero tobiko, eel sauce, and Thai chili sauce ($12). House specialties include the grilled miso beef rib eye, accompanied in its digestive duties by tempura yams and onions ($19), and the Thai green curry, available with chicken ($13) or prawns ($16). Noodle dishes and vegetable plates are also available.

Sweeten your fork on the Chocolate Heaven dessert ($7), a rich chocolate cake that proves wrong the many scientists who argue that chocolate isn't delicious. Lunch and breakfast are also available. The kitchen is open until 1 a.m., so lounge late into the night, toasting life with the Geisha's Teardrops sake cocktail ($8) or the Kongmopolitan cocktail ($9). Dragonfish ups the ante on atmosphere with red shutters lining the windows, palm-frond fans casting soft breezes from above, and a variety of far-out Far East art lining the walls.

Groupon Says

Rites of Passage

Garnus! For the good of the kingdom, plunge 30 swords into your midsection.

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Laughter is the best medicine, though it tends to be the worst legal defense. Salute the healing art of interactive improv with today's Groupon: for $5, you get one ticket to a Seattle Theatresports show, the city’s longest-running improv performance, at Unexpected Productions (a $10 value). Shows are scheduled for 10:30 p.m. every Friday and Saturday night at the Market Theater, located in Seattle's Pike Place Market.

Spend a late night shouting challenging suggestions, physical challenges, and challenging physics problems at the stage during Seattle Theatresports, a comedic concoction that’s equal parts sports, theater, improv, and quick wit. Focusing on story, narrative, and technical game playing, the all-ages improv show has been entertaining audiences since its inception 25 years ago. From suggesting ideas to booing the judges, the program is entirely interactive, and the two best suggestions of the evening will receive a coveted prize and return tickets. There's no minimum age (an average content rating of PG-13 is advertised) and no maximum mirth.

Stroll toward the theater early and enjoy the shopping, dining, and possible romance of Pike Place Market. Be sure to nosh some Big League Chew to warm up your jaws for laughs or, if you'd like to live on in sticky infamy, to add to the infamous Gum Wall on Pike Street.

Not valid on New Year's Eve or Valentine's Day.

Groupon Says

Printable List of Improv Suggestions

Leptospirosis = comedy gold.

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Sailing has gone from blueblood vocation to everyman's delight as the pleasure of taunting stiff dorsal-finned sharks with billowy, wind-nabbing sails has transcended economic class and space-time. Catch the drift with today's Groupon: for $180, you get enrollment in an introductory Keelboat 101 sailing class from the Seattle Sailing Club (a $395 value). This 15-hour course covers everything you'll need to properly crew a boat, and to make sailing a habit rather than a blue-moon occurrence. This class is based out of the Shilshole Bay Marina, just as the club has been for the past 40+ years.

Classes run year-round at various times of day during the midweek and weekend, depending on availability (it's busiest on weekends, naturally). The first three hours are spent in the classroom, covering basic knots, safety precautions, and terminology. Once you've sorted out port from starboard and clarified where the bunny goes after emerging from the hole, you and two or three other students will hop into one of the club's boats for some hands-on practice. The small class size ensures plenty of time sailing, mastering the rigs of rigging and the sportsmanship of seamanship, while receiving personal attention and critique from a worthy seastructor who is United States Coast Guard certified.

Though you’ll learn techniques for both upwind and downwind sailing, as well as the procedure for "man-overboard" recovery, only time and further practice will transform you into a transcendent old man of the sea. That's why you have the option to make it official with a written exam from the American Sailing Association (an additional $30). After passing, you can pay another $39 to become an ASA member and fully certified sailor.

Must be over 18. Reservations required.

Groupon Says

Watered Down

International waters: where crime is legal and disease is optional.

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Hour-Long Massage

No matter if you're new to the whole massage thing or buy them ten at a time, we have a proposition for you. Snag today's deal -- $35 for a one-hour therapeutic massage (regularly $70) -- and head over to Sundance Massage in Kenmore post haste to kiss those kinks, knobs, knots, and nagging pains goodbye. Licensed therapists start with the end in mind: your comfort and recovery. Drop your cares at the door and unwind in a tranquil studio designed to nix distractions and maximize relaxation. From Swedish to sports therapy to lomi lomi to Thai stretching; this pampering palace's expert hands have the techniques, tips, and talent for what ails you. Come try Sundance Massage just this once and we bet you'll be a regular, buying massages in bulk in no time.

The Little Details

Limit 1 per person, additional as gifts
• Appointments are required and subject to availability
• Valid for first time clients of Sundance Massage
• Your deal is forfeited if you cancel within 24 hrs of your appointment

Must be redeemed by January 23rd, 2011

Additional Information

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Seven-Week Rec Sports Participation with T-Shirt and Bar Discounts

The sun's out and the tube's a wasteland of reruns, so it's time to get off the couch and into a league at Comeback Sports. The game plan: Spend $30 to secure a spot on a team to play flag football, dodgeball, soccer (including the festive Co-ed Soccer Tournament at Chambers Bay Fields complete with beer garden), softball, kickball, or volleyball (a $70 value). You'll get seven weeks of guaranteed playing time including a team shirt, freebies from sponsors like Clif Bar, discounts at neighboring bars for post-game recaps, and a team full of new friends. All games are professionally officiated and all equipment is provided. Now's your chance to reclaim your athletic prowess from gym class, redeem your hall of fame shortcomings, or just decompress after the I-5 commuter shuffle. Whatever your reason, your spot's awaitin' so don't let the team down.

The Little Details

Class space subject to availability
• Valid for one individual league sign-up of your choice (7 weeks of play), team shirt, freebies from Clif Bar and our various sponsors, and admission to post game parties
• Sports offered include: Flag Football, Soccer, Volleyball, Kickball, Softball and Dodgeball

Must be redeemed by June 26th, 2011

Additional Information

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